"Sir, Why Are You Always Smiling"

Leadership is essential for the successful operations of organizations throughout our society. One area where exceptional leadership is cultivated is in the military. The structured environment, high-stakes decision-making, and emphasis on teamwork create a breeding ground for effective leadership skills to thrive. In my case there is an additional element to my leadership.

"Sir, why are you smiling?" I've been asked that many times in my life. The most memorable was was while deployed and commanding a battalion in Iraq. I tried to always be on the go to visit our soldiers - whether at Camp Speicher or in the deployed locations, supporting 4ID units and their non-divisional support units. I always came back with a better sense of our organization - operationally and in terms of morale. I always made these unplanned and untimed visits so leaders did not try to prepare and I could stay as long/short as I felt I needed to. This allowed me to talk to everyone throughout the chain of command.

It was on one of these visits that a specialist asked me the question. He said he'd seen me in various settings over time and invariably I'd smile throughout the activity. He said he appreciated it because being deployed during wartime can be difficult and seeing me approach it in the way I did helped lighten his mood. I asked him if he wanted all the of the answers to the question or the short version...he said all of them. I told him the first reason was because I found that when faced with difficult circumstances you have two choices - be any of a combination of: fearful, anxious, angry, stunned or moody; or you can acknowledge that it is difficult and attempt to find the best way through it - for yourself and others. I am a realistic optimist and at my best when I have a positive mindset, which usually results in a smile. In short, I aim to always choose the 2nd option, which results in my smile and attitude. I asked again if he wanted to hear the rest of the answer, and he again said yes. I told him that like most people I can lose perspective and react to things and not choose the way I want to, but it is my faith and belief in God that brings me back and allows me to gain perspective. I received entry into this belief through my parents - being raised Catholic. Although their lives were challenging (being born in Alabama in the early 1930s, they lived their faith - leading my dad to be a 22 year Air Force Veteran with a doctorate in philosophy and my mom an educator with a Masters degree who was eulogized as a philosopher, dreamer, beloved grandmother, devoted teacher, friend, colleague, life-long learner and fantastic mother…their lives and my faith personally challenge me to be in alignment with the fruits of the spirit so that like Mother Theresa prayed, that I too can have Jesus flood my soul with spirit and love…so that everyone I come in contact with can see and feel the presence of God. I’ve been asked throughout my life – in battle, in the Pentagon, at the grocery store why I smile…this is why I smile. I know I am a child of God, and grateful for all of the big and small things that have occurred in my life. That wherever I am...whatever I am doing is part of God's plan and I just have to do my part. The end of this story could have gone many different ways, but it ended with him saying, "I thought so, God bless you sir."

Being responsible for the lives and well-being of others can be daunting at times, and the need to maintain balance, calm and wisdom through prayer ensured I did my part to lead some great soldiers. There were many nights with little sleep during that deployment , but everyone who deployed and was part of our unit returned home once we rotated - my most fervent and constant prayer; I smiled all the way back to Fort Hood Texas!